It’s inevitable in life that we are going to be hurt at some point. Whether intentionally or not, it happens. It starts out at a young age, maybe someone on the Kindergarten playground wouldn’t share. After some tears and a talk with your teacher, sorries were exchanged and you probably continued playing without a grudge. If only that were the case as a grown up!
Kids are much more resilient and forgiving than we are as adults. In some cases, you may get hurt over and over and over again by the same person. How do we presently handle these situations? How should we handle them? Do we fight back knowing that they won’t listen to our words anyway? Do we plea with them to hear our side of the story? Do we update our Facebook status vocalizing our side for the world to see, just to have some validation from somebody?
I’m starting to learn how to handle these things with God’s grace. It is hard. It is so incredibly hard. And sometimes I fail at it. When people attack you or your loved ones, who wouldn’t want to fight back! Sometimes I hit reply faster than my hands can type. Why should I allow lies to be spread? I should say something! I should fight back! They don’t even know us! Let’s end the rumors, tell our side!
I should…. lower myself to their level?
For who? To continue fighting back and forth with somebody that doesn’t understand is almost as bad as them spreading lies to begin with. It’s fueling the fire. The fire that you need to put out. If you don’t, you’ll never feel at peace.
The thing is, people are always going to be there to remind you of mistakes that you made in your past. True or false, some people love to bring these things all back up to the surface. It’s hard sometimes to be reminded of the hurt and pain. Regardless, you still need to forgive them. If not for them, for God and for yourself.
As hard as it may be, you hold your head up high, bite your tongue, and let them believe what they wish. It was never between you and them anyway. It’s always been and always will be between you and the Lord. Put up your shield and repel their hateful words and thoughts.
Matthew 18:21-22 says, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven!”
That’s a lot of forgiveness. That’s a lot of pride and ego set aside. That’s a lot of letting go of hurt without validation. But, it’s possible. If Jesus can forgive all of those who have sinned against Him, we can forgive those who sin against us. It’s hard. So very difficult to do. But, the good news is we are not alone. God is with us every step of the way and He knows the truth. When you hit your knees and you cannot take any more of their painful words, look up. He’ll hold you and help you back up to your feet.
Get back up, dust yourself off. Look up, forgive them, forgive yourself, let it go and keep moving forward!
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
– Lewis B Smedes